Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
