is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
