yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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