I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize