We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
