i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Of course I have a pirate flag
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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