He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Blood and glitter go together right?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
