this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
