Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
