Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize