Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize