Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
