I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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