I only kidnapped one of them. chill
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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