Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
