I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im part way to drunk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
