im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
