That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
