the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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