marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
