Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she pinky promised me she was 18
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
