Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize