I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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