is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
