Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
