I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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