she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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