i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
