I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
