that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
