I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
