Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
