HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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