dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
