I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
