I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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