Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
