Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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