Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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