shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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