I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
