similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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