So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
