yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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