They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
