I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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