It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
