you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize