His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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