just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
