Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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