I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
