D3 body, D1 cock
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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