Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
