I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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