My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
