It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
