i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
