I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
