i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
