Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
