Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
