I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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