Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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