I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
kristin has been a bad kristin
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
