She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize