but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
