i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
