he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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